I’ve wanted to share with you some of my spiritual journey. I have reached a summit in Which I was miles away from. It feels so good to have reached this place. I am celebrating with God. I feel so blessed and gracious for this path. It has been hard, but it has been worth it.
Ever since I was a child I remember always feeling aligned and connected to God. I remember one instance when my father was explaining to me in his version of “God” that there was a bright light that appeared to me when I was 5. Over the years this idea I have of God I have discovered it is the same for others and people identify it with universe, spirit, source, Allah…..etc
I’ve had people laugh at me with the story about the light when I was 5 and so for many years I kept the story inside my heart. As time has gone by, one thing I know, I Am connected to that light that was revealed to me. After hearing of others spiritual experience with God I was able to define my relationship/connection to God and pour my foundation of life ( as fact) .
As my spiritual world expands, so does my knowledge of religions. I began to get curious about religions besides my own in 2016. I had a friend who had been talking about the God Particle or Higgs Boson and I looked it up and it greatly challenged everything I was taught to believe about science.
I’m still figuring things out on the topic of “Higgs Boson” I have my own theories, but as my mind expands and more peace evolves within…..I see this Cosmos and my part in sharing with you ,my beliefs.
As a child my favorite memories are of me in my backyard connecting with this source of energy that I now define as God. I would dream big in my mind and see myself do these back flips / front flips/ aerials. Seeing God connect the missing space that I had not been able to see because of fear. I see that these sits with God were actually meditations I had been doing (not intentional of course) was my first teaching of being able to complete and do anything that others told me would be too hard or impossible.
I always had a belief that I could do anything my mind thought of. The tough thing about belief is that it can be challenged. It was religion and fundamentalism that I grew up with taught me to be small and that my version of life is actually not creative or useful. That only others had the ability to do great things. I was growing and existing in a world that tried to keep me down or small.
As a result of believing I was small, I dealt with a lot of self-hatred and putting myself in harmful situations. I believed that I was not worthy of anything good and I definitely was not great. I became someone who wasn’t fun to be around or in a pleasant mood. I definitely found myself in a place where I dug myself into more and more unhappiness.
I spent a lot of time trying to “fit in”. I attended a very religious Baptist school private school that taught such things as dancing was evil and so were short skirts and that girls should wear dresses every day to school. I was sent to the school office daily some days. On my knees so they could measure my skirt length . I remember A male teacher calling me up often, to then touch my leg to see if my skirt was too short. An old woman teaching English often interrupted her class to send me down without even measuring my skirt. Agh….LOL the humiliation. I would walk across the street at school and know that this idea of who I believed was God was not this school….I was so angry because authority ridiculed what I believed. I was told to believe I was nothing but full of sin. I didn’t know who to believe myself who was taught I’m full of sin or authority that was supposed to be there to protect us as children.
In 1998, something very horrific happened at school. I left and went to public school. Authority figure at the Baptist school had taken advantage of 3 young girls and it broke my heart. To make matters worse the authority had known for years and not just about this one particular individual but of many other teachers. My idea of God was ugly at that point .
I turned away from God ….very far away and trusted no one who called themselves “Christian”. I hated myself because I called myself “Christian.” Who was a Christian? I didn’t even know. I ran away from it until I was 30 (2011) It was the only known spiritual way of life. My family taught me ways of God that were welcoming and I studied the Bible.
One specific verse was highlighted in my mind one day “delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you all the desires of your heart” Psalm 37:4 If you research the original text in which it was written there is a very deep meaning.
In my studies to become my “own” version of Christianity, I didn’t sit well with it. My soul didn’t. There was too much of it that was off with tradition, with some teachings, with beliefs with the fundamental values to teach no one is “right” but us (Born again Christianity). I began researching again in 2016 about first world religions.
What I found is that even by the Bible’s standards and the stories of Jesus that I could not be my “own” version of Christianity. I had to become one with God. I can’t be my own anything as God is a part of me.
I had no idea how to do it so I asked. (Matthew 7:7 “Ask and you shall receive”. )
The question that was answered in a very long way took me on a very interesting journey and lessons for the last 3 years. There have been pillars in discovering who I am spiritually. These pillars, I will be discussing in the future as not only theory, but also fact according to my intuition. Intuition has been a great friend and teacher to me over the last couple years. My teachings are meant to take as Information and not to force others to be exactly as me. We are not made to be just the same. If my story helps you see the true authentic you, this blesses me. Please share.
Our similarities and differences is what makes up the human race and why we are so creative. We have been given the permission to co-create with God. I believe we are not created to live by laws and rules of religion but that those laws and rules that create a happy and blessed life reign within us. That we only get to experience true peace and joy when we have loved all of ourselves. We are whole as we are now. The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand (or within us).
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.” Brene Brown
Sharing Pillars of my Spirituality. Pillars are not rules. I believe they are characteristics Of God. Characteristics that I believe I am called to be like and show them authentically through the way I live my life. I encourage you to create your own pillars. There is a book called Buddha and the Badass in chapter one outlines this similar practice. The Pillars are how I have been able to co- create with God. Again I can’t stress this enough, I encourage you to dig deep and find your own. It took me almost a month of structured writing to really discover what they were.
Love-At the root of everything is Love. Our highest calling as humans is to Love one another and show others how and why by authentically living in Love every day.
Vision/Creativity-Believing that vision casts creativity and problem solving to everyday problems will help others to know that the pictures in their mind have purpose. That vision builds and supports life and to continue to have domain over the planet.
Aligned-Walk, Pray, and be in relationship with God and others. All people are seen as my brothers and sisters and family and seen as equal.
Integrity- the ability to do things on earth as it is in heaven. This action creates peace within us.
Freedom-the ability to be able to love as authentically as we are. Exactly as we are.
All this info has been given to you to end here …
It is 2020 , human’s perfect vision. The time when all we have been blinded too are now being shown to us . It was January 2020 that I made a decision to no longer officially associate myself as Christian. I can honestly give Christianity a kiss on the cheek and thank it for leading me to God as I know God now. It has led me to be awake and know that I am anointed one. I am enlightened.
I know who I am because of my past and my journey. I have no hate towards religion, it’s been a tool to learn who I’ve been created to be. I have forgiven myself and my past to become authentically me. I now have the words and the keys to be able to share with others how to serve each other and to love one another and to show others how to open the door. And that is what I will do. Jesus said “Go and be fishers of men” . I learned this is Sunday School as a child. All these lessons have come so I can be me now.
Will you come with me on this journey? I can’t wait to share more and more with you. I will be so blessed as you keep me company and pray.
For some I believe this may be the end of the road for you to stay with me…and I lovingly let you go and know that if we are to meet again I will be so happy and joyous ! And if not I love you and I understand I’m not for everyone.